I will never forget and I will forever remember what it felt like to know Jesus is ever before me. This experience of having been asked to “see the pond empty” then to be told “it’s getting drained” was one of emboldening my faith in and of Him. I had a choice in that moment to let the truth of what I believe and what I proclaim “Jesus being everything in every thing” is indeed it. It is the truth, my truth, and living in and with this truth I will continue to be set free.
Living out the rest of that morning and afternoon knowing ‘I still did not know why I was prepared to know’ about the pond being drained was unique. At that point I told Ryan about how earlier in the week “I was told to see the pond empty…” He too, not sure what to do with the information. Imagining the pond empty brought us both to grieving a bit, we had the same somberness as when I was initially asked to see it empty by God. Life on the property is abundant because of that body of water and our family life has been enriched because of that body of water, even so, life will go on if you let it…
Ryan and I still had the rest of that day and part of Sunday to embrace as free-folk so we didn’t say much more about it, but I’d be lying if I said it was ‘normal,’ it wasn’t, we both felt something. Then about 4:30pm in came another text from Deborah,
“You didn’t get another dog did you?”
Uh, no, but… I knew I had to call her.
I was instantly aware of the humble confidence Jesus has given me and again, I am left wordless to describe what it was like living in it. I knew to know, it is for now God had let me come to know Him as Preparer. I had a choice to make, I could choose to believe God and ALL He has said, taught, and brought to us in “this now 40,” or I could cower to fear and please man.
We will never forget the miraculous way how five years ago, God brought us to this property in the first place (here is how). As tenants of the Benner’s property we’ve worked as the best caretakers we know to be, we enjoy this time and plan for it. As recipients of their offer to live here with affordable rent and work alongside it we’ve desired to please them, which I know we do, all-in-all though, something different was happening here. I was to know, and be able to share with confidence, our family’s current reality (the commitment with the dog) and be willing to hear and respect the Benners communication regarding our living there (or not) because of the dog. I was meant to practice being certain in God, understanding and believing something is coming and it’s not about the dog.
I called and she answered. I explained how the dog was there for the weekend and was our friends and then I explained how our family had committed plans to get another dog (Marcie) in August (having been under the impression that was okay because of prior conversations). All in all, the conversation was respectFULL but we were not on the same page. I had misunderstood at some point and another dog is something they are not a fan of.
Sigh.
But we knew to know, it isn’t about the dog...