As I contemplate courageousness having been lived out in my life, in actuality it has morphed and changed over the years. In my younger years (ages 15-21ish), I am apt to say I may not have been courageous as much as I was one seeking adventure. Whereas now, living life at age 41 my courageous actions are most often not out-loud or even seen actions.
In my younger years the adventure seeking part of me was ultimately my applied expression from a longing to understand at my core, what is the purpose of life and why am I here. Them thar’ are som’ weighty questions folks! I can see from my journaling in those years, I wasn’t that specific in my question asking, but my life decisions clearly came from a deep place of not knowing. Does that make sense? If I were to read a psychology textbook, I’m sure that’s a “stage” for “ages___,” so here is my weird, thinking back on those days is so interesting to me.
My “not knowing or understanding” my purpose brought me to many, many crossroads. I can genuinely share in those days, the decisions I made at those crossroads were not the ones leading to life. Yet my life remained. This is a gift I do not and will not forget. I am brought to stillness when pondering those days, those “courageous” days of my past. Life is a gift. May I not squander it. May I also, by God’s grace and goodness of Himself in me, LOVE those who are in their “younger days” of possibly “not knowing or understanding” yet either.
My current courageousness, which you may say is no courageousness at all, is actively and always believing God. I have a sneaking suspicion this will be part of the courageous call from Him all while I have breath to breathe ;-) I see it this way, I am courageous first by believing Him and all of His revealed character, both through the scriptures and His personal and intimate gifts of Himself to me. Second, I am courageous by believing I am who He says I am. And third, I am courageous in expecting Him to indeed be my expectation, in everything, always.
In my life, I have chosen to live in the camp of “God is either everything or He is nothing,” like, really... every thing – or – no thing. It’s a great camp to have staked my tent in. I hope by the way I am able to live life, everyone I meet always knows there are infinite sites available to stake their own tent down. It was a little un-doing in the beginning but so worth being un-done! The craziest part about my current courageousness is, I bet as a young one I started with this understanding, trust, and abandonment. Thankfully God is able and was willing to bring me back to His campground, the one where Jesus makes all things new and life abundant IS.